Cultivate a Life of Vitality, Pleasure, Passion and Purpose

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21 Questions Every Woman Should Ask Herself

“Quality questions create a quality life. Successful people ask better questions, and as a result, they get better answers.” – Tony Robbins


A year or so ago, when I first conceived of the idea of the Wellegance blog, I heard Tony Robbins say this and it struck a chord with me. At the time, I had already coined the term ‘Wellegance’ and was clear on what that term meant to me. Essentially, Wellegance is the joining of two concepts that I believe are at the heart of a well-lived life: wellness (body, mind and spirit) and elegance (valuing simplicity and quality over quantity in all areas of life). I began to consider the principles that one must live by in order to curate this ‘Wellegant life’ and I kept coming back to the idea that each of us must commit to getting to know ourselves. I mean REALLY getting to know ourselves. Excavating ourselves by chipping away all the layers of social conditioning, family expectations, gender roles, responsibilities, etc. and discovering the woman who exists underneath all of that.

How much do you know about yourself? Oh, sure, you can tell me your likes and dislikes, preferences, pet peeves, your hobbies, childhood best friend and your most embarrassing moment. But how often do you stop to examine the workings of your mind and the yearnings of your heart? The beliefs and desires that motivate you to do the things you do? Most of us lead such busy lives that we don’t stop to reflect nearly as often as we should.

You see, we’re each on our own unique “Heroine’s Journey” and the only way we make any real progress on our journey is when we come to know ourselves at the deepest level. How do we do that? By asking the very ‘quality questions’ that Tony Robbins is referring to in the above quote. And answering them with BRUTAL honesty (the more honest we get, the more powerful this process is).

Here are 21 Questions Every Woman Should Ask Herself

  1. Where in my life am I thriving?
  2. What am I hungry for?
  3. Do I enjoy my own company?
  4. How energized do I feel each day?
  5. Who and what inspires me?
  6. How much of what I speak is negative/complaining vs. positive/productive?
  7. What people or situations drain me?
  8. Does my personal style express who I am and what I find beautiful?
  9. Where in my life do I need support?
  10. What am I not saying that needs to be said?
  11. What is the next version of me?
  12. What messages my body is sending me?
  13. Am I saving/investing enough money in my future?
  14. Do I feel at home in my home?
  15. What new thing am I yearning to learn or try?
  16. Am I having enough fun?
  17. What is my ‘superpower’?
  18. Am I procrastinating something I want, waiting for ‘someday’?
  19. Is busy-ness helping me to avoid feeling something?
  20. What pattern(s) keeps showing up in my life?
  21. Have I made peace with the past?


If, in fact, Tony Robbins is correct in saying that “Quality questions create a quality life,” (and I wholeheartedly believe that he is), then I maintain that every woman should be asking herself these questions on a regular basis. Think your answers, write your answers, discuss them with a therapist, close friend, your pet or your houseplants…it matters not what you do with the answers. It only matters that you consider the questions and do your best to formulate an honest answer to each of them.

Those answers have the power to guide you toward peace, joy and wholeness. You’ll likely discover things about yourself that you’d never anticipated and when you get to know yourself at this level – your values, needs, desires, fears, habits, emotional triggers, etc. – that knowledge and awareness will empower you to make better choices and move toward the life you desire.

As you set off on this quest, know that I’m with you every step of the way!



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Wellegant™ Mind, Body, Life: Nourish Your Body and Feed Your Soul

It contains my best healthy living tips, recipes and other resources to help you live your most Wellegant life. Enjoy!




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Astrology as a Powerful Life Tool: Interview with Author/Astrologer Eric Meyers

Have I got a treat for you! Author and Astrologer Eric Meyers chats with me and demystifies the study of astrology and explains his unique approach, which merges the science of astrology with psychology and spirituality.

He shares tips for using astrology as a tool in one’s life, understanding our “karmic patterns”, sun and moon signs and the various cycles we experience throughout our lifetime.

Eric also views the current state of the world through this unique lens and offers some advice about how we can best navigate this interesting time. It’s a fascinating discussion that is sure to provide some “a-ha” moments. Make sure to listen in!


Eric has written several books exploring various aspects of astrology. Read more about his books on his author page at amazon.com.

Eric also provides astrological consultations and may be reached at

eric@soulvisionconsulting.com – or – at his website:


Enjoy this very special interview!



Wellegant™ Mind, Body, Life: Nourish Your Body and Feed Your Soul

It contains my best healthy living tips, recipes and other resources to help you live your most Wellegant life. Enjoy!

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What is Creative Living?


For years, I completely misunderstood the concept of creative living (which probably explains why I struggled so much with it). If you would have asked me this question ten years ago I would have explained that someone who lives creatively expresses him/herself through some artistic medium – writing, painting, drawing, music, cooking, needlework, flower arranging, etc. Blah, blah, blah.

It might sound good on the surface, but this definition is way too narrow and just kind of misses the mark. For one thing, it excludes the vast majority of people (myself included) who haven’t devoted our lives to the arts because we’re working a full time job, raising children or juggling any of the other balls we might have in the air at any given moment. It often frustrated me to think that I had missed my chance and that a creative life was off-limits to me because of some of the choices I’d made.

My big “aha” moment came recently, when I read Elizabeth Gilbert’s latest book, Big Magic (which I HIGHLY recommend!). Gilbert has an entire chapter which explores this question of what does it mean to live a creative life? She states: “…when I refer to ‘creative living’ I am speaking more broadly. I’m talking about living a life that is driven more strongly by curiosity than by fear…A creative life is an amplified life.”


What I love about Gilbert’s definition is that it makes creative living available to all of us – even those of us who are not actively, professionally or exclusively devoted to the arts. It, essentially, tells us that if we want to live a creative life, all we need to do is manage our fear and allow our curiosities and desires to guide our choices. That is a tall order, to be sure, but it’s far more empowering than the belief that creative living is limited only to those who (1) possess some sort of innate artistic talent and (2) actively utilize that talent in their everyday lives.

Gilbert goes on to explain that “The universe buries strange jewels deep within us all, and then stands back to see if we can find them. The hunt to uncover those jewels – that’s creative living.”

Now, there’s the blessing and the challenge – the blessing is that yes, we are ALL born with gifts to share, but the challenge is having the courage and commitment to live our life in a way that allows us to find and explore those gifts. In other words, we must “shush” our fears (some of us must do this, practically, on a minute by minute basis!?) and follow that small voice within us that says, “What if?” or “That looks fun!” or “Maybe I can.”

How do we know if we’re on the right track and getting closer to uncovering one of our ‘jewels’? Quite simply, it feels good. It brings us pleasure. We want more. When we experience that feeling, we must remind ourselves to lean into it and continue doing whatever we’re doing. When what we’re doing doesn’t feel good and bring us pleasure, let it go and explore something else. It’s that simple. And THAT, according to Elizabeth Gilbert, is creative living!

So, I offer you a little Wellegant assignment this week: Do one thing that satisfies a curiosity of yours and brings you pleasure, even if fear is telling you to “stop” or that “you can’t.” Wear the bright red lipstick. Cook the Boeuf Bourguignon. Buy the bikini. Sign up for salsa dancing classes. Commit to making just one choice this week that is guided by your curiosity and not your fears. My belief is that this one courageous choice will lead you to another and another and another, setting you on the path to your most creative, most Wellegant life.

Knock ‘em dead! And please post a comment below so that we can all celebrate your success with you!

Have a beautiful weekend, my friends!

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Wellegant™ Mind, Body, Life: Nourish Your Body and Feed Your Soul

It contains my best healthy living tips, recipes and other resources to help you live your most Wellegant life. Enjoy!


Leave a comment

Where Time Management Falls Short (And What to Do Instead!)

I had a conversation with a close friend recently and she shared with me that she often feels resentful because she can’t seem to find any time for herself. She’s got young kids, a (demanding) full time job, a husband, home, etc. In other words…she has many roles, a slew of responsibilities and a day to day life that is fairly exhausting; doesn’t leave a whole lot of room for the  “vitality, pleasure, passion and purpose” that I promote on this site. She was obviously frustrated and genuinely wanted to know what advice I had to help her manage her time.

I knew exactly what she was feeling, having been in her shoes (you can read a bit more about my story here). So, when she asked for time management suggestions, I shared my strong belief that the key to dealing with overwhelm isn’t time management, so much as it’s energy management.

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Staying Healthy Through the Holidays


Remember the old cartoons? There was always an episode where the main character, faced with making a decision, had a little angel sitting on one shoulder and a little devil sitting on the other. Both were simultaneously speaking into the character’s ears, trying to persuade him/her and generally causing a lot of confusion and frustration.

Yeah, that’s how most people feel around the holidays.

This time of year often becomes a tug of war between the part of us seeking pleasure and fulfillment and our inner drill sergeant. And it feels like a lose-lose situation because it forces us into one of two behavioral patterns: either we deprive ourselves of pleasure and then feel frustrated and resentful OR we indulge in pleasure only to feel regret and guilt over it. We get caught up in this cycle of deprivation, shame and guilt surrounding food.

And some can stay in this cycle for several months – until the New Year rolls around – at which point the drill sergeant says, “That’s it! You are absolutely out of control. You know what you need? A RESOLUTION!”

Yup. We all know how that goes…

So how do we bring a bit of Wellegance to this most un-Wellegant situation? 😉

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Trouble Saying “No”?


When you say “yes” to others, make sure you are not saying “no” to yourself.  

(Paulo Coelho)

Nothing creates more stress for more women than the habit of saying “yes” when we really want to say “no.” Many women revert to an almost automatic “yes” response, in an effort to please others and, while the desire to please others is sometimes a worthy goal, if that desire comes from a place of insecurity and the feeling that we need to prove ourselves, we can easily enter the dangerous territory known as people-pleasing.

Dr. Harriet Braiker’s book, The Disease to Please: Curing the People Pleasing Syndrome, came across my radar recently and, as a recovering people pleaser, I decided to give it a read.

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