“Quality questions create a quality life. Successful people ask better questions, and as a result, they get better answers.” – Tony Robbins
A year or so ago, when I first conceived of the idea of the Wellegance blog, I heard Tony Robbins say this and it struck a chord with me. At the time, I had already coined the term ‘Wellegance’ and was clear on what that term meant to me. Essentially, Wellegance is the joining of two concepts that I believe are at the heart of a well-lived life: wellness (body, mind and spirit) and elegance (valuing simplicity and quality over quantity in all areas of life). I began to consider the principles that one must live by in order to curate this ‘Wellegant life’ and I kept coming back to the idea that each of us must commit to getting to know ourselves. I mean REALLY getting to know ourselves. Excavating ourselves by chipping away all the layers of social conditioning, family expectations, gender roles, responsibilities, etc. and discovering the woman who exists underneath all of that.
How much do you know about yourself? Oh, sure, you can tell me your likes and dislikes, preferences, pet peeves, your hobbies, childhood best friend and your most embarrassing moment. But how often do you stop to examine the workings of your mind and the yearnings of your heart? The beliefs and desires that motivate you to do the things you do? Most of us lead such busy lives that we don’t stop to reflect nearly as often as we should.
You see, we’re each on our own unique “Heroine’s Journey” and the only way we make any real progress on our journey is when we come to know ourselves at the deepest level. How do we do that? By asking the very ‘quality questions’ that Tony Robbins is referring to in the above quote. And answering them with BRUTAL honesty (the more honest we get, the more powerful this process is).
Here are 21 Questions Every Woman Should Ask Herself
- Where in my life am I thriving?
- What am I hungry for?
- Do I enjoy my own company?
- How energized do I feel each day?
- Who and what inspires me?
- How much of what I speak is negative/complaining vs. positive/productive?
- What people or situations drain me?
- Does my personal style express who I am and what I find beautiful?
- Where in my life do I need support?
- What am I not saying that needs to be said?
- What is the next version of me?
- What messages my body is sending me?
- Am I saving/investing enough money in my future?
- Do I feel at home in my home?
- What new thing am I yearning to learn or try?
- Am I having enough fun?
- What is my ‘superpower’?
- Am I procrastinating something I want, waiting for ‘someday’?
- Is busy-ness helping me to avoid feeling something?
- What pattern(s) keeps showing up in my life?
- Have I made peace with the past?
If, in fact, Tony Robbins is correct in saying that “Quality questions create a quality life,” (and I wholeheartedly believe that he is), then I maintain that every woman should be asking herself these questions on a regular basis. Think your answers, write your answers, discuss them with a therapist, close friend, your pet or your houseplants…it matters not what you do with the answers. It only matters that you consider the questions and do your best to formulate an honest answer to each of them.
Those answers have the power to guide you toward peace, joy and wholeness. You’ll likely discover things about yourself that you’d never anticipated and when you get to know yourself at this level – your values, needs, desires, fears, habits, emotional triggers, etc. – that knowledge and awareness will empower you to make better choices and move toward the life you desire.
As you set off on this quest, know that I’m with you every step of the way!
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